Friday, 8 May 2015

Dear Baby - 32 Weeks

Dear Samson,

Well, you sure surprised (and scared!) us this week! Here I was, expecting to write to you about our latest appointments, purchases for you, plans for your room... and instead I'm in a hospital bed recovering from an emergency section and you're in the SCBU recovering from your first major operation.

You were born at 23:01 on Wednesday 6th May, a day that started out like any other and at no point did daddy or I think we were going to meet you that day. I noticed that you weren't your wriggly self during the day, so after work we went to the Pregnancy Assessment Unit for a trace to check on you. Your heart rate was fine, but they were really concerned about your lack of movement and eventually it was decided the safest course of action was to deliver you.

I was terrified. Daddy was terrified. Before we really had time to absorb what was happening, I was in an ambulance being blue lighted to another city, to a hospital with the facilities to care for you.

When you were born, I only caught a fleeting glimpse of you. Daddy said you had quite a bit of dark hair and he could hear you crying. He watched the whole procedure - he's a strange man, your daddy. Then you were taken to the Neonatal unit while I was stitched up and taken to the High Dependency Unit to recover. Daddy was taken in to see you when you were a couple of hours old, and he reported back to me that you were doing well.

The first time I saw you properly was when you were around 6 hours old, when I was being transferred from the HDU on to the ward. You looked so tiny in your incubator, but we were told they were pleased that you were breathing on your own and you hadn't required oxygen. They had identified a couple of potential issues, but would have a thorough check once the consultant arrived and things would go from there.

Later yesterday morning, it was discovered that your oesophagus wasn't fully developed and you needed an operation to join the two ends of it together. For this, you needed to be taken to a different hospital. We went back to the NICU to see you while they were preparing you for transfer, and we managed to take a couple of pictures of your gorgeous little face. I was told that I, too, would be transferred but I might have to wait up to 4 hours for an ambulance. As it happened, an ambulance quickly became available and I was on my way within 20 minutes.

Daddy drove over to the new (third!) hospital and managed to see you briefly before finding my new home on the ward. Then your surgeon came to see us to explain what would happen, and we had to sign the consent forms. And then all we could do was wait.

By 20:45 we'd still heard nothing, and I was beginning to worry that Daddy might be sent home as visiting for partners is only until 21:00 - I didn't want him to go home without knowing how you were, and I was worried about him driving when he'd only slept for a couple of hours. We decided to go ask if the midwife could give the SCBU a call, and we were told that you'd just got back and we could go see you in 20 minutes.

It was such a relief to see that you'd made it through your first operation and you were stable and doing well. The nurse taking care of you last night was really lovely, and she arranged for Daddy and I to be moved from the ward into a private room so that he could stay with me and we could get a better rest and be on hand for you.

And now it's Friday morning. We've had a good sleep (actually I think we both just passed out from sheer exhaustion) and we've had an update about how you've got on overnight. We'll be coming to see you very soon, little man.

Love you so, so much. Be strong, keep fighting.

Mummy xxxxx