Friday, 13 February 2015

Dear Baby - 20 Weeks

Dear Baby,

What a long week it's been. Waiting to have our worst fears confirmed is a truly awful feeling, and I'm sad to say they were confirmed. We saw the consultant yesterday, and she believes there is a definite defect with your heart. We've now been referred to a fetal cardiologist at a hospital an hour away for more extensive investigations, but unfortunately we've got to wait another week to see them.

The good news is that while you're in utero, you have absolutely no idea that anything is wrong. It's comforting to know that in the meantime, your body will continue to grow strong - hopefully really strong, because the chances are that you will need life saving surgery once you are born. With what's been observed so far, there is pretty much no hope of a scenario that doesn't involve you requiring surgery. And I know you're growing strong, you've been letting me know over the last few days by beginning to assault me from the inside; you know I love you with all my heart no matter what, but do you really have to give me such a thorough beating when I'm trying to go to sleep? I think we need to work on getting our body clocks in sync with each other.

I'd also like to apologise for your father and the little challenge he's set himself of trying out a different name on you every day. Don't worry, there's no chance he'll be getting the final say on your name - and none of the ones he's been calling you are going to stick either. You will not be named Hulk, Captain America, Hellboy, Black Panther, or anything of the sort. As I've already told you numerous times, Daddy is just a bit delusional but it keeps him happy. Besides, I don't think you'd be able to carry off any of those names if you came out a girl.

We're still feeling a little too anxious about the situation and the unknowns we face to begin to make preparations for your arrival. It's not that we don't want to prepare to bring you home - far from it - but we want to have all the facts before we start making decisions about your nursery and things we need to get for you. We did buy you a little babygro set last weekend though, it's got one of my favourite characters on and I just couldn't resist it. I wanted you to have something.

Keep on doing what you're doing in there my sweetheart (maybe with a little less of the middle-of-the-night violence?!)

Love always,

Mum xxx

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  1. Wow, I'm sorry to hear that there is a heart issue. But just know that the medical field has made leaps & bounds with those types of issues. However, with the beatings you're getting all the time, it sounds like that lil one is pretty strong & that's a good thing. Hugs, girlie!

    Mandie ~

  2. I'm so sorry to hear this news. Prayers that things go the best that they can :) HUGS

  3. Jenni,

    I am so sorry to hear this and I don't know if this helps but...

    Luke's ex wife Becky was born with a leaky valve and multiple holes in her heart. She was rushed into surgery for life saving work and she went on to have a normal life as a strong and beautiful woman.

    I have everything crossed for you guys with so much faith being thrown your way xxx

    1. ps...and that was 30 years ago!!! It is amazing what can be done now!

  4. What a sweet letter, Jenni! I was so hoping for good news; but no matter what, never lose hope! Please keep me updated on what the specialist says. Hugs to you!! And be nice, little baby! :-)

  5. Oh Jenni, I'm so sorry, I know that wasn't the news you were hoping for. But it is comforting to know that baby is okay for now, just growing (and kicking!) away in there! He or she feels your love with every beat of your heart.


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