Friday, 16 January 2015

Dear Baby - 16 Weeks

Dear Baby,

I've been writing secretly to you since you were just a tiny embryo; since before we even knew for sure you were going to stick around and grow. It's strange how that seems so recent, yet so long ago at the same time.

We've sure had an eventful time together, you and me. Our first trimester together was actually not quite as hard as I had expected; I felt queasy and nauseous a lot of the time and completely lost my appetite, and I slept as though I was competing at international level, but really the worst of it was the constant headache - which was so much less severe than anything I had anticipated. So thanks for that!

Seeing you on screen that first time, at 7 weeks, was kind of surreal. At that point, your dad and I were just so happy for the reassurance that you were there, you existed, and you were growing just as you should. You looked like a jelly bean at that stage, but you were our jelly bean, and there are no words than can describe the love we felt for you or the relief at seeing your little heart beating away.

The next time we got to see you, just five weeks later at 12 weeks, you had grown and changed so much. You looked like a real little human! You were a bit uncooperative for the poor sonographer and just wouldn't stay still long enough for her to measure you, but we got there eventually. It was truly amazing watching you wriggling around, doing your little fist pumps (we think maybe you're going to be a rocker), and I would have happily stayed there for hours.

As we entered the second trimester, we took you along for the ride to Las Vegas over Christmas and New York for New Year. Unfortunately I got ill, so we didn't get to sample very much yummy food and there was certainly no Christmas dinner on the menu. We had fun though - and still, plenty of sleep! When we got back to the UK and met with the consultant, we found out that there is a very real risk of serious complications with you, which frightens the life out of me. To think that we've come this far, and could still lose you, is absolutely terrifying.

Maybe that's why you've decided to make me so utterly sick since; it's a reassurance that you're still there. I can understand that. It's been tough feeling so ill that I haven't been able to move, must less function, but if that's what I need to do to keep you growing then that's exactly what I'll do. You are my priority now. Work and other responsibilities will just have to wait. So, for the last couple of weeks, you and I have spent our days either in bed or on the sofa with the TV remote and a water bottle for company. I guess it's not so bad. At least I talked the doctor out of admitting me to hospital!

Your dad and I have got some big decisions to make in the next couple of weeks. We need to decide whether or not to find out your gender - we've gone round in circles over it so far because neither of us has any real preference over whether we want to know in advance or wait for the surprise when you're born. On one hand, it would make picking out names, nursery decor, and all of that kind of thing a little easier; but on the other hand, we've waited so long for you that it doesn't matter to us whether you're a boy or a girl, and it's quite exciting having this little mystery going on. Time is not on our side though - we've got less than 3 weeks until the next scan!

And on that note, little baby, I'm going to get back to that very important matter of resting. All my love,

Mum xxx

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  1. How sweet! Since we've had it both ways (waiting until birth to find out the gender vs. finding out befoehand) I have to admit that I personally preferred finding out during the ultrasound. After we had our "big" u/s with Lily and did not find out, people kept trying to "extract" the secret from us and kept speculating (which especially annoyed Richard). Like to you, it didn't matter to us whether we'd have a boy or a girl with any of the three kids, but finding out earlier made it easier to "communicate" with the little one, as we could refer to them as she or he instead of "it" or "the baby" (we nicknamed Lily "Mini", just to have a name for her instead of "the baby"). But however you decide, it will be right for you! I hope your little baby gives you a break soon and you can finally enjoy your pregnancy. I loved the time between about 25 and 30 weeks most, because I was obviously pregnant at that point but had none of the late-term aches and pains yet. Hugs to you!!

  2. Lovely letter :) I'm sorry there is a worry over baby though - hope everything is okay xx

  3. Oh, I would love to try this idea, it is so lovely! Look forwards to hearing if you decide to find out the gender or not! On the one hand it would be nice to know but on the other hand I would like to not know so that, after all the hard work is over, you have the lovely surprise of finding out!

  4. Oh I couldn't wait to find out with Boo so we found out at the scan, I am too impatient and I don't like surprises!
    I hope you are getting lots of rest and that everything goes smoothly with the rest of your pregnancy


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