Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Today Was A BIG Day

This is another one of those posts where I get very personal, pour a little bit of my heart out, and maybe cry a little bit.

As you may know if you've been following my blog for a while, Boy and I have been trying to start a family since we got married. And, as we've been married for over two and a half years, that obviously isn't going too well. To quickly recap where we're up to, after a year of trying to conceive we saw our GP who sent us for preliminary tests and referred us to a fertility specialist. We then had 6 months of tests and procedures to detect any issues that might be causing us difficulty, and last November we were told they had found nothing of concern, and we were to go away and continue as we were for another year.

At that point, we were both devastated. We'd gone in to that appointment hoping, and more or less expecting if I'm honest, to come away with some kind of plan. To be told "we can't find anything wrong, so even though you've waited 18 months already would you kindly naff off and wait another 12 months, thanks" really stung.

So, over that 12 months, we've seen many friends and family have babies. People who, if the world were fair, wouldn't have babies. I know that sounds terribly judgemental, but it hurts when someone in a destructive relationship, with no home of their own, no job etc., gets to be able to reproduce while we can't, and we could provide everything for a child. We have our own home, a fantastic relationship, good jobs, stability and security. We are in a far better position to raise a family, and yet we can't.


Today we were back at the fertility specialist's. We both had the same expectation - that we'd be told to repeat all our tests and have to wait another 6 months or so before she would refer us for treatment. We hadn't talked about it beforehand, but on the way out we discussed how we thought today would go. Again, we were both wrong.

But today, we were wrong in the best way possible! Today, the fertility specialist didn't hesitate to refer us to a clinic for treatment. We're not sure how long we'll have to wait now, but the next step is an appointment to discuss IVF treatment. You cannot imagine how happy I am about this! I am fully aware that the road ahead is going to be difficult, IVF is no walk in the park - but thanks to having very close friends who have been through it I have a good awareness of what it involves, and I am ready to take that on!

(Boy isn't as clued up as me, I've given him an overview but as his role mainly involves supporting me and doing his thing in a cup and that's all, I think he'll cope just fine!)

**This post originally appeared on my old blog and has been imported to Living for the Victories**

3 comments:

  1. I'm so excited that you have a plan now, and I really, really hope that you don't have to wait much longer until you get to hold your baby! Believe me, I know how you feel seeing people have babies who cannot even afford them. I remember when we had just moved back to Germany, with a 2-year old and a newborn, no jobs, living with my grandma. And then we had relatives visitng, who were just preparing for their second round of IVF treatment; I felt like crap, having those two beautiful kids and nothigng to offer them while those wonderful people, who had everything to offer, were not granted their greatest wish. Glad to say that within 2 months of moving we were back on our feet, and our relatives, after another failed IVF ended up with a surprise baby the natural way...

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  2. What an amazing day indeed! I am so happy for you!! Sending positive thoughts your way, as always!

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  3. Ohhhhh Honey!! My Bloggy Bestie!! I'm so elated for you! Maybe, just maybe.. we will get preggers together and experience the most WONDERFUL experience EVER! I'm praying and crossing my fingers that everything goes smoothly on this journey! Email me personally and lets chat. I've been a bad bloggy BFF, I know-- there's so much for us to talk about! I miss you! XOXOXOXOXO-- I'm so damned excited for you-- I'm over the moon!

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